It's Okay to Be Single

Friday, August 11, 2017

I usually have to remind myself this time and time again. As I see others move on, people truck along with their lives, and I'm moving ahead as well - albeit alone ... I have to remind myself that it's okay to be single. My heart is still healing, and I know I have a ton to still learn. But it does suck to not have that support person or someone to love and join me in the day to day stuff of life.

It's okay to be single because sometimes you have to be strong on your own first before you can be strong in a relationship.

It's okay to be single because you're willing to wait for the *right* person and not just *any* person.

It's okay to be single because you're standing on your own two feet and showing your children what a strong mom looks like.

It's okay to be single because you're proving to yourself that you are a survivor.

It's okay to be single because you have other things to focus on right now; your children, your career, your self-care.

It's okay to be single because you said so.

Single Mom Adventure: Car Ride Up North!

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Recently, I tracked 7.5 hours to the great white north with my two kiddos in tow. We packed up some necessities and stuffed our belongings into my sensible sedan and headed for a weekend of fun on the lake with some of my closest friends from college and their families.

It was a magical weekend and guess what - my kids (and myself!) survived our solo drive there!! I was pretty worried because the girls are 3 and would be stuck in the car for over 7 hours and are notorious for demanding snacks, toys, and anything and everything under the moon while I'm trying to safely get us to our destination. Luckily, I preplanned and had a movie and their headphones all ready to go for the first leg of our trip from Chicago into the Wisconsin Dells. It was a 3.5 hour drive and when we arrived we did a pit stop for food and walking around a Deer Park where we were able to feed docile Bambi's right from our hands! It was a great activity that allowed us to stretch our legs, have a chill activity and then hop back into the car where the girls promptly passed out for the beginning of our longest 4.5 hour trek into Minnesota.

Feeding a sweet deer.

Hello, dude! This goat was hangry!
The last hour or so of the drive was a bit brutal. The girls were over the car, I was over the car, we hit some traffic, etc. But once we arrived and they were able to meet new people, play with friends and get relaxed it was much much better!

We spent the weekend enjoying the company of my best friends, swimming in the lake, boating and even just relaxing and watching Moana 875 times with the other kids. It was so great to have the fresh air, the relaxation and seeing my little girls meet some of my favorite people in the planet. They slept well, ate well, got along with others - it was truly amazing!

This cabin, though! :)

Ready to swim!
Our ride back we had some help with my friend and her gf riding back to Chicago with us. It was nice to have some company and someone to help wrangle the twins and their needs in the car ride so I could focus on getting us back home safely! 

Can't wait for our next adventure! 

Finding Your Life Raft

Thursday, July 13, 2017

This past week I was thinking about heartbreak and tragedy. Not my own personal stuff - but just overall hurt that human beings go through. It's like sinking in a large body of water - full of rough waves or rip tides tugging down on you trying to pull you in. As issues get deeper, or the pain gets more complicated, the water gets deeper. And it takes every single thing in yourself to stay afloat. I understand and I've been there.

The key to surviving this wave upon wave of heartache is to find your life raft. Is it a close friend you can confide in? Is it an Instagram account that's positivity brings your heart comfort? Is it a hobby that can get your mind off of things? Running or other exercise? But it's finding something positive that can add value to your life and also ease the ache in your heart. Finding your life raft will keep you afloat. It will help create a light in a dark, dark tunnel. And if you're a parent, like me, you'll need a life raft to keep yourself active and focused while around your kids.

There were times, when I was going through my divorce, where I'd sit under a hot shower until the water ran cold. I'd sob and sob and my mind would race with desperately trying to figure out how I could save things, where I went wrong. And on the days I had my daughters, and couldn't sit in the shower, I still craved it. The hot water healed my aching heart and provided comfort. But mommy couldn't sit in the shower for a bulk of time when the girls were with me and I had to figure out other ways to deal with my pain and grief, that still allowed me to be happy and positive and "moving" around my children.

You need to keep moving. Whatever is breaking your heart cannot break you. Find something you can cling to, that will help you ride out this wave. Hang on, feel the pain, take the ride, but allow yourself to be held up and eventually you'll wash ashore.