Co-Parenting is Hard

Friday, October 2, 2015

I'll start with a simple statement - "Co-parenting is hard." 

It's hard when your break-up is fresh. It's hard when there are emotions and feelings still involved. It's hard when there's that fine balance of what's fair to you, the other parent and most importantly your children. It's hard when you have to work with someone that you couldn't work in life with. How messed up is that?

I know that we're both doing our best to have quality time with our daughters - that we both have experiences that we want to share. That in a perfect world, we could see them every day and know every minute of their lives. But we're not in a perfect world, and we still have to make it work. I've been reading a lot of articles to help myself reign it in, in regards to co-parenting. I've been told now that my marriage has turned into a business and my ex and I are now business partners - with our children has our most valuable transaction. Every conversation and action should only relate to them. Every move or decision we make is to benefit them. To put feelings aside because it's no longer about the two of us.

Parenting After Divorce: 10 Ways To Make Talking To Your Ex About The Kids Less Stressful.:

Not going to lie - it's super freaking hard to do that. When you've been with someone for so long, there's bound to be some intense feelings left behind. Especially if things feel unresolved or one partner (or both) feels wronged in some way. It's hard to shift gears and to not be selfish of your needs and really try to now get along with this person that you've had such a negative life-changing experience with. It's life's special joke for those going through divorce. But I'm trying and have at least 17 years of co-parenting experiences and decision making left so I better start getting good at it (she too!). 

I've found some resources that have helped me learn more about what positive actions and reactions I should follow/model. One of the articles that I really liked is surprisingly Dr. Phil's stance. You can find it at: Dr. Phil's Advice on Co-Parenting. I'm always looking for great resources to be a better person/parent. If there are any that have helped you - I'd love to hear about it! 

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