Thursday, October 22, 2015

Let's talk about empowerment and what that looks like as a single mom. It's not just what makes you a strong woman - but what makes you strong as the only adult in your family. What builds you up when life is tearing you down. How you maintain that strength and feel (and know!) that you can tackle anything that comes your way.

I've felt empowered at various moments, but one that recently hit me was when I took the girls to the pumpkin patch. I was excited to have this experience with my daughters - to not feel like I'm missing out on these life experiences because our family is breaking a part. But the moment I pulled into the lot at the pumpkin farm, and saw family upon family lugging their pumpkins around, posing for photos with big bright smiles - and even seeing all of the pregnant women who were carrying their own pumpkin in their bellies - I felt a punch straight to my stomach. I yearned for what they all had ... the comfort of a marriage, a fall family tradition, happy family photos, and even the whisper of a new future on the horizon for those little ones yet to be born.
focus on the good.:

I could have let that ruin my time. I could have let that bring tears to my eyes and bitterness into my heart. Instead I turned my face to the sun and soaked in the smiles and giddy laughs of my girls as they ran all over the pumpkin patch. They didn't care that I was the only parent with them that day. They didn't see all of the other families surrounding us, because I was their family. They saw an open space to run and a mommy willing to chase them - and what fun that was! Twin toddlers are no joke, especially in crowded places!

When I looked at us ... and the fact that I packed them all up and brought them out into a public place by myself, and I took pictures of us and we made memories together - suddenly, I felt empowered. No longer was I sad or jealous over other families, but was proud of my own little family and the experience we were having.

There are many moments where a surge of empowerment hit; simple things like when I get a bill that I can afford to pay (I'm doing it on my own!), when I make healthy choices for what my children eat, when I teach my girls something and they pick it up! Little moments scattered across our days help me feel that what I'm doing is worth something ... that I don't have to be sad for what I lack but need to continue to be appreciative for what I already have. I think it's really important as single moms to keep that in perspective. It's easy to fall into feeling sorry for ourselves and envious of others' family traditions. But we're strong, and we have the power to be/do anything we put our mind to. Our children depend on us - we depend on us. Find moments (even small ones) during your day that make you feel you're strong, that show you that you can do this on your own, that once you can step outside of being the victim (I have a hard time falling into this mindset) that you can become your own hero. Find what empowers you. Use it as your fuel to rebuild and come back stronger than ever!

Who we are and What We Can Do For You !! Email: salona@dtrix.co.za www.dtrix.co.za Call: 074 409 9730:

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