Getting Through the Holidays

Monday, November 23, 2015

Recently, I found a post on Blogher that was titled 10 Ways to Survive the Holidays After Divorce. Ahhh! Right. Up. My. Alley.

Thanksgiving is this week, ya'll! And Christmas is hot on it's tail. It's the first year in 4 years that I'll be doing holidays solo. It's also the first year that I have to not only coordinate my family's availability - but now have to hand my kids over at a certain point because they have another side of the family to celebrate with. Part of me is excited to just be with my children on both holidays. Part of me dreads creating my own traditions, but it only keeps pushing myself further and further away from "the life that was." 

I want my girls to want to spend the holidays with me and sometimes I have the expectation that we will have that awesome, annual family tradition. But mostly I'm fearful of failing in that area of tradition for them and just having a "blah-holiday with mom." I know, ridiculous.

Some of the tips from this article that I really liked were:
  1. Give Yourself Permission to Suck. I laugh at this because I was not the chef or even the ringleader of my marriage. My ex was great at whipping up a delicious meal and always had fun ideas of things to do with the family during holidays. I'm not so creative and although I can follow directions to cook a meal, I'm not Julia Child. So, I know I need to give myself some lee-way and make the most of this new adventure.
  2. Create New Traditions. There are a ton of things I wanted to do when we were a family of four but the girls just weren't old enough. Like looking at Christmas lights, making Christmas cookies, doing holiday arts and crafts, etc. They're still not quite old enough for some activities, but that doesn't mean the 3 of us can't have our own little lady family traditions. If you have some cool ideas for what I can do with two toddlers, let me know!
  3. Don't Just Sit at Home. I think one of the easiest traps to fall into is staying at home and feeling sorry for yourself and your "lost" future. Who wants to be depressed during the holidays? Not me! I know I'll be sad enough as it is - but I want to still be able to have a life and enjoy the season, if anything for my girls.
Have you gone through the holidays post-divorce? What helped you get through the season?

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