The Maiden Voyage

Monday, November 30, 2015

Thanksgiving this year was the first one solo in a long time. I consider it a little bit of my maiden voyage - navigating the holidays on my own, with my family and my traditions. It was okay - strange, but okay. I had the girls during the day and we trekked to see my dad, grandma and uncle. My dad whipped up a really good meal and the girls tore their home a part like 16 month old toddlers do. It was the first time my uncle had seen them since they were a few months old - it was great to see him interact with them.

The twins are so mobile and understand things and are really their own little people. It was the first time that my family has seen their personalities really blossom and it was so fun. Crackers scattered across the carpet, and I diligently following behind trying to collect as many crumbs as a I can; toys tossed around the living room as my blind uncle tread slowly hoping not to step on one; two little girls giggling and exploring their little world. It was really nice.

We scarfed down a traditional Thanksgiving meal, but weren't able to all sit together because my grandma has a pretty small house, and I didn't have high chairs there. But we made it through and the girls ate a big meal, played a lot, and it was a great day spent with family. After all was said and done, we headed back home to meet their other mom for their drive to Ohio to spend Thanksgiving with her side of the family. I'm thankful that I was able to spend the day with them - but it's still sad that they're having their own maiden voyage without me too. I guess this is the new normal.

I had three days solo - Friday, Saturday and Sunday. All kid-free, and all plan-free. 72 hours with not one thing to do - not one person [besides my dog] needing anything from me. Time spent trying to fill up the hours so I'm not sad and lonely and depressed while my children are two states away. I resisted the urge to go shopping - that has long been my go-to when feeling down. I stayed in on Black Friday except to run out and go grocery shopping and pick up gifts for my Secret Santa kid at work [you can buy a gift for a child that is in need], then returned home to start wrapping gifts, plowed through six episodes of The Walking Dead [catching up from last season], and relaxed.

Part of me is glad for this me-time. Moms don't usually get that. But then part of me is guilty because I haven't spent that time eating right or working out or doing stuff on a check-list that's to help be supermom, ya know? I've lounged. I've drank wine. I've watched a lot of tv and spent time on social media. I zonked out at 8:30 pm. Is that time wasted or well-spent detox "me" time? I dunno. But this is my first year out and I still have Christmas on the horizon to tackle all by myself with the girls. My plan is to surround myself with family and stay busy busy busy. I'm thankful for what I have, and in a time when I can easily be dragged down or spin into a depressed state, I'm trying to keep my head above water and stay focused on having a good holiday season with my girls.

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