Building Your Tribe and Taking Stock

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Ever since around Valentine's Day, I've been in a funk. I don't think it was the actual day per se but other things that were happening around that time that kinda just took the wind out of my sails and made me realize that maybe I'm not really handling things as well as I thought I was. In particular, I've had something happen with 2 friends that's kinda left me feeling like the lonely girl in the room - I was a creep, and now they're keeping their distance. I'm so mad at myself. And apparently as a punishment, I've dipped into the "loneliest girl in the world" type of sorrow - which is actually not really true at all because these are two people that I don't even talk to that often in real life. Perception my friends. It's everything.

It's funny how things work like that. How you can maintain focus on something that happens and it skews your entire perception of EVERYTHING.

Life is a learning experience. We're hear to grow and develop and experience THINGS! And not all of those things are happy moments. Some of them are hard times, pain, embarrassment, etc. It's all a part of the process - you can't have a rainbow without the rain.

Moments of "blah" still creep in almost daily. But I really want to shake this funk and I think part of that is focusing on the good and learning from this situation that I find myself in. I can sit and be sad and embarrassed forever but that won't change anything unless I change. And it won't help me feel better, either! And a lot of that is realizing that I have many other people in my "tribe" that I rely on and have in my life that impact it positively - from great friends to my sister and dad ... these are people that are consistently in my life, people who will pick me up when I get down and people who help talk me through the embarrassing crap that I may or may not do! We all need a tribe. Who's in yours?

Lastly, I think another way of turning this frown upside down is to take stock of the good stuff that happens daily in my world. Sure I'm not in a relationship and there are many nights when it's literally just me by myself all day long - but that's okay. I should not be afraid to fill my days with things that I like to do and be thankful that I get to enjoy those things. And to learn to rely on my friends when I'm feeling down about myself - to not be afraid to bug them when I need them. To remember that we're all on a journey and this is part of mine. It won't always be this glum and I have a lot to look forward to. In the meantime, I can work on being a better friend and a better person and enjoy all of the good things that are in my world.

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