On This Day ...

Friday, July 15, 2016

My oh my how life changes, you don't even realize that it zooms right by. I'm going through something right now. It hurts my heart and there are moments where I'm not sure I'm going to feel happy or "love" or whatever again. It sucks being stuck in this. Then I opened Facebook today and was reminded of how far I've come - the "On This Day" app will always get you with past reminders. And I remember them all.

On this exact day last year, I posted a meme about letting go of the life we have planned - because the future is waiting for us. This was on the heels of my marriage falling a part. A realization that it was over. This was 365 days ago - a lot has changed since then ... in more ways than I could ever have imagined. I'm amicable with my ex, I have a new job (!!), I've loved again, I've found a bit of happiness reconnecting and experiencing new things. In that dark spot in 2015, I NEVER could have imagined that happening at all - any of it.

Two years ago today, Derek Jeter was saying goodbye to baseball. He has been my favorite player since his rookie season and even to this day, my favorite number combination is 213 - 2 for DJ and 13 for me :)

Three years ago today, I was a newlywed and full of wedded bliss. I shared a Sara Bareilles video that reminded me of my love.

Five years ago today I completed a 73 minute walk/run as part of my C25K running program. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was on a year long "break-up" with my now ex-wife, right before we got back together the final time. I was focused on improving myself and was working out relentlessly. It helped relieve the stress and sadness that filled my body. And that 73 minute run/walk was my Everest (you ever try to stay on a treadmill for that long when you're not a runner? It's hell). But I did it and I didn't stop once. I walked away from that treadmill with drenched gray yoga pants (it looked like I peed myself) and felt amazing. I immediately stopped running the C25K program after that run though. It hurt like hell afterwards. :)

Eight years ago today, I posted on Facebook that I was worried. No explanation ... just a simple statement. Ashley is worried. (It was when your update was basically a statement from you). That was 2008, my friends. I have a vague feeling of what it was about but honestly, I have no idea. And in between that day that I was worried and likely upset to today - a ton of life has happened. A TON. 

It's comforting to know that the pain I feel right now will numb some day. That what's happening today in my heart or my life will be a memory. Life is ever changing and always evolving and we have no clue where it will take us next. We have no idea what awaits us. So know that the heart ache is just for a moment/a short time in a lifelong of other moments strung together. <3 

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