Looking Inward

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

For the past month or so, I've kinda been keeping it low-key. You know Mercury was in retrograde and all - so that can mess up with life's major decisions and being sensitive around communications. Not that I'm at a crossroads or anything myself. But - it was a good time to sit back and evaluate what I truly want in my life, where I truly see my life moving to. A chance to clear out all that is not good for that plan, and make space for those people and things that can put me on the right path.

As of today, I feel happy and content. I have a better grasp on things in my life and have processed much of my emotions from my last romantic "thing". I'm okay. So it's a good time to look inward and make a list of what I want to work on; what I have time for, what I enjoy, etc. And I think I came up with a good list to get me started to being an even better version of myself. Ashley 3.0 (because maybe at 33 I'm reinventing some of myself?).

Exercise is huge for me. It helps relieve stress and also not be 500 lbs - because I can sometimes stress eat (and non-eat) and drink. I've found a path that's about 4 miles round-trip near my home that I run/walk whenever I can and just took the girls out with me the other day. One of the twins slept the entire walk!! But I also realize that midwest winters can be brutal - so I'm going to need an outlet to get my exercise in even on days when I have the girls. The biggest excuse I use lately is that I have them and I'm tired and I can't get outside or can work out in my living room after they go to bed. So I removed that excuse and signed up for a gym that has childcare available. I'm excited to now be able to go whenever I want!! And the girls will get a chance to play with other kids - they love kids!!

Emotional stability is a key area that I've struggled in. I know I have a lot of issues from my past and my childhood that come out every now and then. At times, I've deeply struggled with these things and have felt like I've lacked control of them. Mostly around my worth and value in relationships, etc. So I've signed up for some life coaching sessions and I'm SO excited to start. I had an intro chat with the woman I'll be working with and can't wait to unleash my issues and gain some helpful tools to help me deal with them (and accept/let go) even better!

I love to read. I have a degree in English-Writing, so it's no wonder that I like to read and write. (hello blog!) I've been making sure to get in some "me-reading" time as much as possible. With the weekly trips the girls and I take to the library, we take out books and movies for them - and usually 1-2 books for me. I've even reserved some books I've been dying to read and am able to quickly pick up and check out once they're ready from being on hold for me! It rejuvenates me and I've really missed it!

Now, there are still some areas that I need to work on and I'm calculating some plans to get those areas jump-started. Like healthy eating (I'm not great at healthy eating habits all of the time), and being even more strict financially (I follow the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover plan).  But I'm aware those areas need some work and will be focused on those very very soon!

Sometimes we have to force ourselves to be the change we so desperately need. If we're unhappy or stuck, we need to remember that we have the power to change our situation or make it better. We can work on our mind and being more positive, we can work towards our goals and make them more reachable. Investing in ourselves and looking inward to the potential that each and everyone of us possess, can pull us out of that crummy space that some of us can fall into.

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